Thank you for Aging Gracefully


 

 

Yeah, right.

The only place I am aging gracefully is in the dark!

I ain’t going, I tell ya!

I’m not gonna get any older, I mean it!

You can’t make me! 

I’ll fight it with every ounce of Exedrin strength I got!

 

Remember when we were kids and we got all excited the day before our birthday? 

We would hold up our chubby little fingers and say “I’m dis many!”

 

Well, my stiff boney fingers can’t flash open an closed fast enough to say how many I am. On the fifth open they just kind of droop and give up.

 

What is the secret to aging gracefully?

 

Hail Mary, full O’ grace… She must of known. Of course, she could afford to age gracefully, what with all those donations from the church and all.

 

Okay, so graceful is mostly about beauty in form and movement. 

You know, like a SWAN or somethin’.

Can you imagine a SWAN with a double chin? 

Ever see a SWAN dye their feathers, get lyposuction, a beak job, or stuff themselves into a high fashion work out suit to go to a hoity toity gym?

 

I contend that expecting us to age gracefully is unreasonable.

It’s just a marketing ploy for cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and aerobic torture clubs.

 

I have passed my grace period — now I’m just  accruing interest.

Advertisements

~ by leakelley on February 5, 2008.

One Response to “Thank you for Aging Gracefully”

  1. “Can you imagine a SWAN with a double chin? ”

    Okay, you got me there. Can’t stop laughing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: