Thank you for Deliberating the Intent of the In Tense
There are few things more emotionally bruising than not being understood or feeling misjudged through the eyes of someone else’s presumptions.
A person’s intent is not always apparent in their actions.
Sometimes a person’s intent is not even apparent to them, let alone to anyone else.
There are so many unspoken rules to social interactions.
There are so many pitfalls that can send us reeling into hurt feelings, defensive postures, and deemed rejection or indignities.
A lot of minutes are wasted asking ourselves questions about what someone else meant or speculating on the intentions of others instead of using our out loud voice for clarification when we need it.
Why is it so hard to say “Can you explain what you mean by that?”
Why do we assume the intent of another as if we are supposed to know everything there is to know about the mechanics of their mind?
Granted, there are times when it is best to say nothing at all or to let verbal mishaps slip away into error and delete justification.
But other than a slip of the toungue or a forgivible brain fart, we are accountable for our interactions with other human beings—on both the giving and the recieving end.
The cruelest and most arrogant of contentious behaviors is passive aggressive.
To carry around a resentment over a perceived insult without deliberating on the intent with the presenter is like transporting an open jar of rattlesnake venom on a bumpy road. It can’t really be contained. It’s gonna spill all over everybody.
I know some people don’t feel comfortable clarifying in a converstion.
It may feel too much like confrontation or look like ignorance.
Maybe some folks think it takes too much time to ask a question before they formulate an opinion or come to a conclusion.
I can’t know.
But I am thankful for those who ask questions when they don’t understand me, who deliberate on wether my words are deliberate or not.
Sometimes I get a little intense and stuck in the IN Tense but it does not always reveal my intent.
I am still working on my language development skills.
Thanks for listening, but thanks even more for speaking up if you don’t understand.
I need the practice.
~ by leakelley on May 18, 2016.
Posted in attitudes, behavior, communication, cooperation, emotions, fear, honesty, hurt feelings, insults, intentions, intimacy, Language, learning, Life, meaning, mental health, miscommunications, patience, Reflections, relationships, self development, social skills, truth, verbal skills