Thank you for those who Elude Mongers of False Intimacy

Gossip is a feeble attempt to create a bond with another party by betraying the privacy of an individual which the two have in common.

It generally says more about the person betraying the confidence or privacy than it does about the victim of the betrayal.

The person who listens with interest is not so attractive either.

Most of us learn in high school that these mongers of false intimacy do not make for good friendships.

Hopefully we mature into adults who are capable of relating to others without the need for such loathsome and deficient social skills.

But there are those who never develop into people that are interesting enough to carry on a conversation about their own lives, and thus revert to using others as a topic to snare a little attention for themselves.

They are frequently sad and vacant people.

It is essential to share personal things about ourselves in the process of developing authentic relationships. We must invest trust and sometimes share our vulnerabilities, mistakes, and secrets.

This is the material of true friendship—to share, trust, and be trusted.

Most of us handle it pretty well and are rewarded with genuine intimacy.

But the mongers of false intimacy must be avoided and kept in check.

We must be more interested in the quality of our own lives than the blunders and lessons in the lives of others (unless there is a kindness we can offer to assist in the development of another).

Minding our own business and cultivating our own lives can be difficult when we are inundated with the dirty laundry of celebrities, blabbing coworkers, and lonely acquaintances with too much time on their hands.

I would not write for the National Inquirer, nor would I recommend reading it. I am also not so interested in folks who personify that ethic.

I have more interesting things to do.


~ by leakelley on October 7, 2013.

3 Responses to “Thank you for those who Elude Mongers of False Intimacy”

  1. I forget the author (maybe Ann Landers) but one of my favorite quotes is:

    Big people talk about ideas, middle-sized people talk about things, little people talk about people.

  2. I think I agree with you in theory, but it’s awfully difficult in practice- I mean human nature involves curiosity about others, and judgment is about as natural as breathing.

    For instance, your very well written point of view here, nonetheless practices a little of what it stresses that others should avoid- an over-interest in what others are up to, and a negative judgment of them for that action.

    Difficult to disengage from practices so rooted in the nature.

  3. Love you…

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