Thank You for Cereal Killers

I don’t eat breakfast.

But if I did, I think cereal is probably not the fuel for my day.

It’s like starting the day with dessert, there would be nothing to look forward to after dinner.

That just kills cereal for me in the morning.

The word “Cereal” comes from the ancient goddess of the harvest, “Ceres”.

I never knew she was the goddess of Sugar Cane and High Fructose Corn Syrup. I thought she was all about the grains and corn and such.

I wonder if she ever even met Count Chocula.

The profit margins on breakfast cereal are somewhere between 40% and 90%.

If that’s not a cereal killer, then maybe this will deter you from sending Jonny and little Marybeth off to preschool with a load o’ marketing in their tiny bellies.

There is actually a company called “Sanitarium” (owned by the Seventh Day Adventist Church) that makes cereal—and Weet-Bix too!

Be afraid.

Kellogg’s is in Battle Creek, Michigan. Wanna know why they call it Battle Creek?

Be afraid.

General Mills is a fortune 500 company that also markets Betty Crocker.

Maybe their cereal slogan should be “Let them eat cake.”

Be afraid.

Quaker Oats?

In the 1950s, researchers from Quaker Oats Company, MIT and Harvard University carried out experiments to determine how the nutrients from cereals traveled through the body. Parents of mentally challenged children were asked for permission to let their children be members of a Science Club at their school. States, such as Massachusetts, also volunteered children who were wards of the state for the program. One well-known school that did these experiments was Walter E. Fernald State School. Being a member of the Science Club gave the children special privileges. The parents were told that the children would be fed with a diet high in nutrients. They were not, however, told (and the consent form contained no information indicating) that the food their children were fed was laced with radioactive calcium and iron. The information obtained from the experiments was to be used as part of an advertising campaign. The company was later sued because of the experiments. The lawsuit was settled on December 31, 1997, as chronicled in the book The State Boy’s Rebellion by Michael D’Antonio.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid of the Cereal Killers

~ by leakelley on December 17, 2011.

One Response to “Thank You for Cereal Killers”

  1. Great article! I, unfortunately, am from Battle Creek I was very afraid and left a very long time ago! Didn’t like cereal then and still can’t stand it today.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: