Thank You for Unbound Souls and Modern Day Demons

Historically, the Devil has played a big part in barter, trade, and retail folklore.

Mephistopheles, the old retail master, has come a long way since that Faust legend of trading a soul for a wife.

These days we seem to be making all manner of deals with the Devil.

But the Devil doesn’t just want your soul anymore.

His standards for fair trade have changed a bit.

Hell is presently experiencing an economic glut in souls—supply is exceeding demand.

Mephistopheles will now accept other fees.

So if you’re looking for a good deal, Carpe Diem!

Now, I’m no investment specialist, but I have noticed some real bargaining going on out there in the fray of our dealing with the Devil.

Most of these bargains come with Ginsu knives and many offer bonus deals if you use your credit card right now.

But if you go directly to the Devil’s warehouse, you can strike a bargain with the old trade master, in person.

Look in the Vanity Aisle, on the Convenience Shelf, and the Sale Rack of Fate, to find the following special items with descriptions of what you can buy, and what it will cost you—later…


Manufacturer description…

Easy to install and operate.

Runs on complete lack of responsibility with rechargeable credit cards, loaded with immediate gratification.

Comes with automatic thought controls and a powerful, spontaneous consumption engine that may be steered rampantly over human value, extinct species, healthy food, and personal integrity.

A very reliable generator of justifications has been built in by marketing experts and corporate propaganda.

Bonus feature: Sturdy petroleum base product with Banker seal of approval.





Manufacturer description…

Includes a colorful alert system and a monitor enhanced with a panoramic view of all your neighbors, a specially designed toggle switch that leans to the right for easy operation, and a temporary thrill seeking device that allows the user to experience intermittent shock waves through media manipulation, inducing a euphoric inspiration to get naked in airports and a self righteous exhilaration derived from profiling races other than one’s own.



Manufacturer description…

Comes with smooth to swallow pills and easy to digest health related labels, which are artistically created in think tanks and laboratories to accommodate any sensitive reaction to a culture that is completely irrational and short sighted.

Guaranteed to alleviate that nagging feeling that something is very wrong here.

Provides a quick fix to any questioning type thinking and maintains a palatable social climate with a built in pull string lullaby to abate any revolting side effects.



Manufacturer description…

Gently used, and gift wrapped by indigenous people who are being exploited in places you’ve never heard of, so you don’t have to think about them while global homogenization settles like dust on your imported furniture.

This item is user friendly with flexibly lined edges and non resistant conformity for superior feelings of entitlement and relaxation.

One size potentially fits all.

Diversity not included.



Manufacturer description…

This is an exceptionally good deal since the Devil doesn’t really need your soul any more.

You can obtain this item outside the Devil’s warehouse without a contract.

There are a myriad of Con men, Cult leaders, Megalomaniacs, New Age Promulgators of invented truths, and Predators of your need to find answers in a world gone nuts, who are willing to give you this… for mere cash.


But for those other things—and more, you’re evidently gonna have to cut a deal with Mephistopheles.

Unlike Dr Faustus, your exchange contract may stipulate a collection due date that extends beyond twenty four years.

So your kids might have to pay for these purchases later, but…you get to have ‘em now!


You get to keep your *Soul!

*May be limited to what’s in store.


~ by leakelley on July 26, 2010.

One Response to “Thank You for Unbound Souls and Modern Day Demons”

  1. Lea,

    I have not visited you for what seems like ages . . . you were taking photos of nudes for some agency last year. I wrote a comment to you,then turned it into a post at my blog.

    How it cropped up at this moment, only God knows.

    What a great article you wrote. Did you have to sell anything to get it? I sure hope not. I hope it was “God-inspired,” or at least “spirited” to you from a pissed-over nature deity — perhaps the Spirit of the Forest — tired of seeing men and women worshipping the Almighty dollar and what they have been led to believe could purchase happiness for them.

    Money can’t buy you everything. It’s when you lack money, that you can begin to realize how rich you can become within.

    You are a site for sore eyes!


    michael j
    Conshohocken, PA USA

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