Thank You for Things I Don’t Miss About Being a Baby

I don’t have to cry to get what I want

I don’t fall down so much

I’m tall enough to see out the window

I can use silverware

I’m allowed to play near electrical outlets

I can be seen and heard by adults

I have all my teeth and can wipe off my own drool

I don’t get passed around like a sack of potatoes

I can reach candy and eat it whenever I want

I can drive without sitting on somebody’s lap with the engine off

I don’t have to wear cute shirts that say I’m someone else’s property (Daddy’s little angel, Grandma’s favorite, mommy’s headache, yada yada)

The cat doesn’t run away from me when I reach for it

I can read Aristotle and nobody makes a big deal of it

I can drink coffee out of a big girl cup

Nobody hugs me and hands me M&Ms when I go potty

I don’t get put to bed if I’m a little grumpy

I can smoke cigars if I want to

I don’t have to be wrapped up like a mummy to go to the store

people talk to me with real words

I’m allowed to use the computer


I know what thankful means


~ by leakelley on July 17, 2010.

6 Responses to “Thank You for Things I Don’t Miss About Being a Baby”

  1. Being a baby has its advantages. Babies don’t have to worry too much. 🙂

  2. if somebody hugged me and handed me M&Ms every time I went potty, i’d probably drink a whole lot more water…

  3. Oh yeh! Big “amen” to these things! I much prefer being an adult! 😀

  4. You drink your coffee out of a big girl cup…???? Wowwwww…….;D (Still working on that one.)

  5. This is too good…and too funny. I wrote one about reasons why I am glad I am a grown-up, but I never published it. This is so much better.

  6. nice. but then i remember i know what things are, and would give anything to start over again.
    i am glad i can see the mistakes of humanity that i am powerless to change, i like that i am so filled with the absence of love that i never cry cause it is useless.
    how the child felt.. just that. extreme and ultimately simple , unifying , and whole.
    and we only really grow physically. a baby feels the all.
    so i miss that.
    but what if i was to feel it again. letting myself for a moment care about the whole of life with the the knowledge and my infant associated emotions.
    To say. “act like a baby”

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