Thank You for Say it Now, or Forever Hold your “Piece”

There are folks who have a difficult time saying what’s on their mind in a given moment.

Sometimes they don’t realize what they wanted to say until the moment is long past.

These folks may not be conscious of their own agendas in an interaction, or maybe they are trying to twist the agenda into something more palatable for the other interactee, I don’t know.

But when I have an interaction with a person who holds onto a piece of the conversation puzzle, without putting it into the big picture, I sometimes don’t notice the missing piece until the whole thing is over.

If someone seems “delighted” about a situation as I am walking out the door, I assume the interaction was a success, I have filled in any missing pieces with whatever was available at the time.

If that same person calls me later and starts a conversation with

“In retrospect, I am disappointed at…”

Well… all bets are off.

All pieces have been placed.

The prior interaction is done.

Hang up.

Now, I’m not saying that we have to think on our feet all the time, or that retrospect is a bad thing.

I am not saying that we should not remain open to reflection and continuation of a process at later times.

I’m talking about something akin to buying a brown horse because you said you wanted a brown horse and telling the seller that you love the brown horse.

You are not allowed to call up the seller later and say

“In retrospect, I really wanted a white horse.”

That just doesn’t work.

Especially if the seller told you they only had brown horses and you were “delighted” with the brown horses.

There are some situations in life that require forethought and being able to state exactly what one wants at the time.

You are allowed to say  “I need more time to think about it.”

But you are not allowed to say I wanted the Meat loaf after you already ate the Lamb chops.


~ by leakelley on January 9, 2010.

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