Thank You for Scar Wars, Return of the Said I, and Spider Medicine

99 days on 9/9/09

Nine is the number that represents the end of cycles.

Forgive me Father for I have lied.

It has been 99 days and 13 hours since my last confession.

It has been that long since I decided to write my last and final blog.


I changed my mind.

Nothing is final.

It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings and I’m still skinny, so I evidently ain’t done singin’.

It has been three months since I grandstanded on this blog with the I am not a writer post.


I changed my mind.

I spoke from insecurity, I indulged in low self esteem, I got scared I wasn’t a writer, I was afraid, I tell you. It was just my emotional scars, I tell you. Melodrama from the thumping heart on my sleeve, I say.

I thought being a writer was something for those special talented folks who go to creative writing classes, enter poetry competitions, and get rich by advertising with pay per view on their blogs.

I now believe everyone can be a writer, a story teller, an expressionist on some level. One doesn’t need to be great to be sincere.

After going off into the sunset with my paint brushes and my intentions, I found the Holy Grail left by some Oddysian traveler, lodged between a rock and a soft place.

I peeked into the sacred chalice to see a spider swimming in delusional self importance and plucked it from the murky mead.

I placed the little crawly on my sleeve to dry off and the spider said “There’s no room on this sleeve with that giant heart taking up all this space.”

Native Americans beilieve spiders to have the medicine of creativity.

It was a vision quest, I tell ya!

So, I am back without my heart on my sleeve and without expectation to be a writer.

I just wanna sing —metaphorically.

I just need to say Thank You.

And after trying out the other options of expression, I have decided I feel okay  about writing a morning thank you to start my day of creative endeavoring.

I missed the morning structure. I missed my blog pals. And I missed the boat with all those thank yous that I just kept to myself for three months.

Forgive me.

Hail Mary full of disgrace.


I wanna singa…


~ by leakelley on September 9, 2009.

12 Responses to “Thank You for Scar Wars, Return of the Said I, and Spider Medicine”

  1. I LOVE THAT CARTOON….It made me happy when I was younger (ahem) and it made me happy today…yeah you are blogging again!!

  2. I am so glad you’re back!
    You for one insprired me.

    Thank you!

  3. Thank you Lea for coming back with your Thank You blog.

    I have really missed it, and you.

  4. Yeah! Yeah! You know, I every once in a while decide to check in to see if maybe you came to your senses and today you did. Hooray!! See, you made me an exclamation point person.

  5. Yay! Welcome back 🙂

  6. I’m happy you decided to come back and share more of your writing. Creativity, for some people, needs many outlets. Bring it on!

  7. Yippee for me that you found out writing is for anyone who has something to say. Say On! witchyour bad self.

  8. My brother used to sing that song to me when we were kids. So glad to see it here and so happy you are baaaaaaaack!

  9. OMG I just realized you are back….. This is a new, wonderful day. Welcome, writer.

  10. How you could not consider yourself a writer is beyond my capacity to fathom.

  11. I didn’t know you were back until I saw your post on my blog the other day!!! YAY!!! Welcome back girl!!

    (PS…I will be commenting from now as BBB with my Blogger ID)

  12. Well I had to come back and figure out how long you’ve been back and thus how long I’ve been missing your Thank Yous. I am so glad you’re back. Your Thank Yous are a practice not just for you but for me. I see I have quite a few to catch up on.

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