Thank You for My Final Blog and My Real Life
This is my last and final Blog post of over 550 Thank You Posts.
In scanning my previous posts on this blog (over a year of morning Thank you’s ) I am obliged to reevaluate my own intention and take a break from the blog realm.
All Irony, metaphor, philosophical meandering, and kidding aside, I am a thankful person.
I don’t always write my true thanks the way they come into my head in the morning.
Sometimes the short freeway that leads from my chair by the window to the computer screen gets cluttered with abstract off ramps and jackknifed semi-thoughts that roll over onto pseudo clever punnies in synaptic overdrive.
But truly, my original morning thought before it hits my keyboard fingers is one of appreciation for the things around me and my life as a human being, observing life.
My intention when I started this blog over a year ago, was simply to express the appreciative thoughts of my morning ritual.
For decades, I have done this morning ritual in one way or another—usually in silence.
I have coffee, blow smoke to the sky, and find something to appreciate in the first thought that comes to my mind— to acknowledge I am alive and that my life is a gift to wake up to.
Somewhere along the way, by putting those thoughts to ether paper, I have become a smart alec, an Eiron, a word wielding satirist, and a bit of a big mouth with self important opinions in the guise of gratitude.
I’m not sure if this evolution had an original seed in my true nature or if I have cultivated it for reasons that may not suit my original intention in this blog—or in expressing myself.
I am not a writer.
I am a painter, an artist.
I am feeling like I need to get back to the wordless expressions of my place in the world where I can listen better.
My attempt at being a writer feels diluted to me, socially and emotionally. I want to rediscover concentrated expression and personal interactions.
I have had a good time here and the blog party has been great, with wonderful food for thought and a whole lot of inspirational bloggers who brought their favorite dish to expose me to new information and perspectives.
But I think I need to go home now.
I need to be quiet for a while.
I think I have been trying too hard to be a clever blogger and forgetting that words can actually be a distraction from one’s intention.
I have been writing words daily, for over a year now.
That’s more than four full seasons of random ramblings and reflections in abstract English.
For me, in retrospect, the illusion that I was communicating kept me from actually interacting on a personal level that I previously aspired to.
I have immense respect for those of you who are writers and find a way to express self revealing authenticity in words.
I have enjoyed your writing, your comments, and your talent.