Thank you for The Holy Grail, Well Kept Secrets, and Aunt Ida


You know that crazy Aunt—almost everybody has one— who defies all the rules and never goes to church and is always doing something crazy that embarrasses your civilized family? 


Well, if you don’t think you have an aunt like this, here’s one you should finally meet. Her name is Ida.


She’s the aunt your parents never told you about because she would sabotage all their ploys to keep you in line.


She doesn’t look like the rest of the family.

She’s a Darwinius masillae and she reminds everybody of the history they’ve been trying to keep a secret.


She would have taken you aside and made you question authority. 


She would have undermined all their efforts to separate you from the animals, make you behave like a descent, God fearing, member of society, get a good job and go to church on Sunday. 


She was easy to keep a secret because she’s been missing since before you were born. 


You were told she never even existed.


Well, we found Aunt Ida for you. 

She got drunk and fell asleep in a Volcano. 

She’s been missing for 47 million years, but we finally found her.

She needed a manicure and she was a little bit shorter than we remembered, but there she was, just sleeping in the volcano waiting for some German guy to kiss her and wake her from her sleep like an exiled princess.


So now what?


There’s gonna be some trouble, I tell you.


Your family priest is gonna try to put her back to sleep so she doesn’t come over to raid the fridge, use the washing machine, and make you laugh at her stories designed to question all your previous beliefs and drop out of the ministry.


Yep, Aunt Ida, she’s a card. She’s a trouble maker, an embarrassment to the family. 


That volcano she was sleeping in is probably going to erupt and cover the whole place in lava and turn a bunch of con artists into Ash holes. 


Uh oh, Aunt Ida is in town. 

And she’s staying this time. 

Better start making up the bed in the guess room.



Thanks to G for digging up this article: MISSING LINK FOUND, Aunt Ida.

Let me know if this LINK is missing. hehe







~ by leakelley on May 20, 2009.

4 Responses to “Thank you for The Holy Grail, Well Kept Secrets, and Aunt Ida”

  1. Love your creative take on this.

  2. and i would be interested to hear the CREATIONIST take on this…

  3. I would think the Creationist point of view would definitely not include calling a Darwinius masillae the “Holy Grail”
    Oh the irony…

  4. *Subscribes to your blog.

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