Thank you for Zero Tolerance for Anti Social Revelations.

I had a life altering revelation yesterday.

Or maybe it’s an existential social dilemma. I can’t tell but it looked like the following sentence:

There are some individuals with whom I shall never have anything in common other than mortality.

I have always thought I preferred the company of individuals and considered the masses of nameless humans in my society to be a blur around me unless I met them face to face, one on one, up close and personal.

I tried to interact with as many individuals as I could jam into a day to prove that everyone was equally qualified for friendship.

Maybe I was just trying to banish my sense of aloneness in some way, or in need of validation that I was the one qualified for friendship.

I used to spend hours with any given person, genuinely interested in every thought they had and any feeling they wanted to share.

I am now finding such conversations to be painfully redundant.

I don’t know what happened. Have I become redundant?

Now I like human beings in general—you know, as a species, but I don’t really get much illumination from individuals anymore.

Is it just that the longer a person lives the more each individual seems like all other individuals—predictable? Is my once open mind slamming shut?

Do I need to romanticize Humanity in general as preferable to intimate conversations because personal conversations are beginning to get on my ever thankful nerves?  Am I becoming antisocial?

I am disenchanted with complaining, myopic narratives, and social Grobians, pretending to be unique.

I am chagrinned at the self absorption of people who think a good conversation is only one in which they are the focal point or so right about some subject that it prevents them from trying another one.

I am disturbed by the lack of social skills in regard to introducing people to one another or asking about another or even offering a nod of acknowledgment to another. Is this just in my own immediate environment or is it a world wide epidemic that CNN forgot to report?

Up until now, I have justified certain objectionable social behaviors and attributed them to, oh, sensitivity, or shyness, or a tumultuous childhood, or some random characteristic that would alleviate individuals in my sphere from responsibility for poor interpersonal skills.

I’m over it.

No more tolerance toward folks who just don’t play well with others or include others in their peripheral vision as significant enough to inquire about.

I think maybe I don’t want to play anymore, myself. I’m weary of probing  beyond the surface to find the quality. I want to see it up front.

Am I not meeting the right people? Am I not the right people?

I have acquired some genuine life long friends and I am thankful for that, but I don’t know if I got it in me to make any new ones out of some of the folks I am encountering lately.

Maybe it’s just that our present society puts so much pressure on an individual that one can not break away from self to actually peek over the “I” glasses at others?

Maybe the competition to be exceptional, or special is so great that others are regarded as a disposable audience for the “look at me” or “look at my stuff” individual.

Are we breeding a society of big babies that never grow into adults with social graces or concern for the needs and feelings of others unless it serves to better their own self image?

Am I so arrogant as to say I don’t want to baby-sit any adult ?

Okay, so here’s the real revelation part:

The above diatribe was written by a woman who evidently needs just one self actualized, socially integrated, unselfish, happy person to say “Hello” to prove her wrong.

She evidently was effected by some kind of social mishap. Or maybe just one single person with a giant negative attitude or very bad manners cast a shadow over her sunny disposition.

Perhaps this woman is temporarily jaded and limited by her own cage of gray clouds?

Help! Somebody lemme outta here!

Remind me, show me, tell me something good.

I know you are out there and I would be so thankful to hear an authentic Hello today.

~ by leakelley on April 24, 2009.

7 Responses to “Thank you for Zero Tolerance for Anti Social Revelations.”

  1. Hello Lea.

    The sun is shining, and it’s a crisp light, not “too damn hot@!” The coffee is fragrant and about to do it’s “wake up” magic. The kitties are playing, even Smokey the feral is chasing Trouble around the room…while Dude watches from his pillow perch. I am contemplating getting out and putting the raspberries and assorted other food-plants into my ground, but that requires more digging up grass, and I think I need a bit more coffee for that.

    I wish you were here, and that I could see my new little town through your eyes. You have good eyes, with a non-boring mix of observant, optimistic, and sometimes, the very necessary look of having seen too much.

    I look past people. Guilty. I think it’s because, right now, people I already love are facing so many challenges, and I am very aware of how little I can really help in any substantial way. If I get to know too many more with problems, I think I am afraid what little is left of my empathetic energy will simply expire in a boring swoon.

    Sometimes, it’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you know you might care too much. There are already so many people that I care about, I tend to add new ones more carefully now.

    Or, I am just getting old and am too pooped.

    One of those.

    So, hello old friend with the candle burning merrily from all sides until it finally sputters and the flames die. S’OK. There are a whole bunch of candles in the cupboard, with all the colors of the rainbow, and scents of this amazing world. When you are ready, light at will. Until then? Darkness is pretty too.

  2. Bev.
    Thank you and Hello.
    Darkness is beautiful too.
    I am just temporarily adjusting my eyes to it today.
    Thanks for “being” one of the candles in the cupboard.

  3. Hello!

    Hmmm…seems like we both kinda needed the same thing this week. So, hi! Unfortunately in my world, today is kicking the asses of everyone around me and I am the one with the shoulders upon which to lean. It’s only 2pm and I am not sure how much longer I can hold them all up! Some days are just like this eh?

  4. Hello, hello, hello!

    I think it’s wisdom, maturity, health. The desire to want to set clear boundaries. The recognition immediately when someone else isn’t.

    And if you’re at all like me, maybe you’re evolving from being an extrovert to being more introverted. I’m way into protecting my time and energy, and I see that as all goodness.

  5. You really put the pressure on us. I understand so much of what you are saying and seeing. In a room full of new people I’m like a kid in a candy store, and often accused of doing a Pollyanna job on their characters. I’ll bet you are, too, and then on certain days one or two step out of that glow you shined on them and it hurts.

    Then too, it could be there are a lot more assholes in the world today. Oops, my pinafore slipped right off my shoulder. 🙂

  6. Hello Lea!

    Just wanted to tell you Hello again, and that you are invited down for raspberries, which should be fruiting in the late fall. They will undoubtedly be surrounded by grass.

    Well, hey, I did the best I could with the various ocean grasses trying to be taller than I am.

    I may have artichokes too, but only if the fog stays away and it gets hot as hell. They tell me tomatoes are difficult here, but I have absolute faith in the Yellow Pears, even if I must (probably) give up on growing Brandywines.

    I plan on learning the words to Mariah. The wind here is unbelievable.

    Hey, thanks to the internet I can actually blind type now. Maybe I could beat the ninety WPM tests, that is, if I wanted a job, which I don’t. Been there, done that, and don’t have to do it anymore.

    I must admit, I am still hoping for a lottery win. Speaking of that, I must remember to buy a ticket, or that plan will never get off the ground. I could do some nice things with that money though. I couldn’t fix the world, but I could make a few lives easier. Sometimes, I think that is all we can do.

    Rather than feel guilty about my selective plans for easing the burdens of those I love though, I will hear music, specifically, from a scene in Jesus Christ, Superstar. “There are too many of them.”

    We can’t fix everything, and I think that is the way it is supposed to be.

    I honestly believe that when we “die” all of the things we have gone through become equally beloved. The horrors and the joys have the same value…because we grew from them. The only thing that won’t really matter are the times that we didn’t feel those challenges or joys, or sorrows or highs. Then again, that doesn’t sound right either…because those little things will be important too.

    Maybe the only times we will regret will be the times we didn’t give it our all, or failed to notice the things our earthy 5 or 6 senses give.

    In that case, you will have little to regret, because dear Lea, you try your best to give all your attention as often as possible.

    It, quite frankly, seems kind of exhausting to this Pisces…but, today, partially because of you, I did it too.

  7. buy my book..
    oh and the shdes and light
    come with the stars
    to prove we are a part of
    but never really in control

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