Thank you for Meter Maids

Okay, I get the whole part about how tax dollars go to improve the quality of our lives.

I appreciate the paving of roads for proper truck travel and distribution of food, creating sidewalks and repairing the cracks so we don’t fall down on our way to Starbucks, putting up traffic lights so we don’t crash into a Buick on our right, as well as the all around maintenance costs for members of city council to buy donuts and coffee for those little get togethers they have to chat about zoning laws.

But paying people to poke pipes in the ground with little “expired” signs at the top is really ingenious, don’t you think?

And then, to create a whole work force to wander around in commandant clothing looking for the “expired” windows so they can whip out their little pads and punish us for being “expired” with a bright yellow envelope that screams to every passerby;

“This vehicle is owned by some imbecile that took too long in the grocery store and is now being charged for the smooth distribution of food, by way of paved roads to that grocery store!”. 

Well, that is care taking of our social structure at it’s finest!

The fact that Carlton Cole Magee invented the first parking meter in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma in 1932 and Sylvan Nathan Goldman invented the shopping cart in that exact same city in 1937, strikes me as fodder for conspiracy. (He owned a grocery store called Humpty Dumpty Market—I ain’t kiddin’ here!)

Marquet de Sade invented meter maids. (Here, I am kidding.)

Meter maids are usually considered villains unless their name is Rita and they are famous on account of they inspired the Beatles. 

But meter maids have a hard life. 

They have to go through all that assaultive behavior management training, learn how to drive one of those complicated little cushman carts that say “police” on the back, and spend lonely hours staring at the word “Expired”. 

This has got to get on their nerves and effect their lives at home.

I think we should be more appreciative of meter maids.

I also think Carton Cole Magee was a traitor to our culture and I bet Humpty Dumpty had a whole slew of parking tickets and he got knocked off that wall by all the King’s meter maids.

~ by leakelley on April 15, 2009.

3 Responses to “Thank you for Meter Maids”

  1. Parking meter fees in Bellingham don’t actually go to anything other than paying the meter maids and for upkeep and collection of the meters. The whole paying for parking to work, live, and shop downtown has become an outmoded way of thinking. An old law in Bellingham made it illegal for a woman to take anything other than backwards steps while dancing. Have we really come that far since then?

  2. A lot of people want you to overpark.

  3. I was told by a meter maid that if you didn’t pay your power bill, the power company would turn off your service. I don’t know about your power company but my power company doesn’t triple the rate of the bill if they don’t receive payment within 1 week. After 4 weeks of no payment, does the power company then multiply the charges by a factor of 2? How is it that a 3$ parking ticket can go to $80 in just a few months?
    What kind of interest rate is that? Slightly predatory?

    If the downtown area hadn’t been developed and zoned by psychopants and other predatory statists, there would be none of those little metal pipes with the words “expired” in the downtown area. There would also be a nearby village that WASN’T missing several of their idiots.

    Did you know that the meter maids admit they can’t even eat in Bellingham restaurants because they get their food spit in?
    What kind of atmosphere has this game created? I don’t go downtown anymore. Let it choke.

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