Thank You for English as a Surrogate Language

I was in the Ohio State Spelling Bee in the fourth grade. 

My skills have gone completely downhill since then.

I don’t edit sew good these days on account of the traumatic fourth grade Spelling Bee stung me in the butt and I never got over it.

I know there are those of you who just cringed at that last sentence. (Linda, Karma, G, and you other good writers and editors who tolerate me because maybe I got other talents or something)

I don’t misspell words on purpose. 

But I do use bad grammar on purpose if it serves me and I do make up words if my limited vocabulary does not accommodate my ty-rain of thought.

The accidental misspelling of words, that is just a ramification of being stung by the Bee. I was traumatized, I tell you!

I can’t spell if someone is looking at me. Quit it!

I get all shy and suddenly every word I think of begins with um and ends with oops. Quit lookin’ at me!

And the advent of Spell check?

Not so helpful for those with Post Traumatic Spelling Disorder.

The subtleties of the English language are not my friend.

But thank you to those of you who are my friends and put up with my spell binding issues.

Oh, and Don’t look at me! 

But thanks for listening.


~ by leakelley on April 8, 2009.

2 Responses to “Thank You for English as a Surrogate Language”

  1. I thank God for Spell Check as it prevents me from appearing stupid (most of the time).

    Don’t you wish there were universal rules for spelling that applied all the time? I do.

  2. Omigod–ANOTHER similarity! I was headed toward the Indiana State Spelling Bee in 4th grade also! It was during the County Bee that I failed. It was down to me and my best friend,Gloria. I was asked to spell ‘loose’ and I spelled ‘lose’–Gloria won! I have never forgotten that and, to this day, I am very careful about my spelling although I lack in good grammar. 😀

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