Thank you for The Male Psyche

 

I love the male psyche. 

It is an endless source of entertainment, a wonderland of simplicity, a genuinely fascinating maze of information and a complex portal into effortless reason.

If you placed a male brain on a table next to a female brain, I think you would notice tangible differences.

The female brain would be vibrating, creating sound waves, and radiating an aura of blinding light while trying to scooch itself toward the male brain without being too obvious.

The male brain would emanate a low hum, rock back and forth in a predictable rhythm, and once in a while it would burp the alphabet.

I think of all the times I asked a man “What are you thinking about?” and he flatly replied “Nothin”. 

This used to drive me nuts. I would say ridiculous things like;

 “Nobody can think of nothing. You must be thinking about something. Share with me. I want to relate with you. C’mon, it won’t hurt my feelings. I want to know your innermost thoughts and feel close to you. Why are you withholding from me? Are you mad at me? What are you really thinking about?”

I now know that it is more than probable he is thinking about “Nothin’” .

All my interrogating had the impact of a gnat buzzing around his head, screaming in a foreign language at the top if it’s little gnat lungs.

So I have learned to let him be and return for interaction when I hear the alphabet being burped in the next room.

Of course, I jest in representing these clichés in such generalizations. There is a bit of the female in every guy and a smidgeon of man in every woman. But the basic rules of engagement are determined in two separate rooms without any hints, one to the other.

After learning that the rules are different, I can honestly say I like interacting with males much better now.

I can learn so much from men, and I have.

I have had incredible conversations that incorporate theories derived from Pythagorus, Aristotle, and Thomas Aquinas. I have bantered and debated political analysis, quantum physics, combustible engine parts, and the best method of holding a chain saw.

I also have such conversations with my female friends, we just put a little more feeling into it— but none of us gals have perfected burping the alphabet yet.

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~ by leakelley on February 23, 2009.

8 Responses to “Thank you for The Male Psyche”

  1. You gotta check out YouTube, then. My cashier the other day informed me her sister is famous there as “Burping Girl”

  2. I liked that part about occasionally burping out the alphabet. 8)

    I’m sure my husband thinks of nothin’ quite often. 8)

  3. You are a hoot!
    Thanks for leaving such a sweet comment on my website!
    Happy blogging!
    Jonie

  4. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the image of you putting human brains on tables and then observing them hum, vibrate and glow. I think I’ve seen that scenario entered as evidence at a number of high profile murder cases.

    Thanks for the post but stay away from me until you get the help you need.

  5. Hilarious post! “Burping out the alphabet” hahaha! :))

  6. I’m burping out the “star Spangled Banner” right now….

  7. Nothing = Sex

    Sex past
    Sex future
    Imagined Sex
    Missed out on that opportunity for sex

    just sayin’
    (why, how SEXist of me)

  8. It’s pretty honest to admit to preferring interaction with males over females.

    I think I feel more comfortable relating to males, sometimes. That’s probably pretty normal. If you check out like.. people’s yahoo messenger lists or such tell-tale indicators, people tend to have many more of their gender opposites, both men and women. Men seem female companions, even if they’re not seeking a mate, and vice-versa.

    But I also know that I went through a sort of transformation over a couple years blogging and writing. I may still feel more comfortable with certain men, but my favorite blogger is a woman. I love reading women writers. I sometimes trust the female perspective more, and I really value the quality and intelligence of some women I’ve gotten to know gradually.

    The male and female perspective are capable of so much variety and wonder, in the best case scenario they both transcend stereotypes.

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