Thank you for Issues and Tissues

Allow me to issue the following warning.

After reading the latest issue of Psycho Today—or The Daily News, if you will, I am struck with the realization that … I got issues.

I got issues with all manner of things, situations, mysteries, and questions in regard to other people’s issues.

I take issue with people playing out their personal issues in public.

Yet, here I am, issuing a memorandum in my own daily issue of Lea Kelley Saying Thank You  for … issues!

You got an issue with that?

All right, let’s break this overused and exploited word down to smaller parts and resolve my issue with the whole thing.

Is Sues

How many stories do we hear about someone who frivolously sues someone for undetermined pain and suffering, inciting personal issues as a result and asking for mega bucks to resolve said issues?

I got an issue with that.

Life is loaded with issues:

environmental issues

social issues

personal issues

debatable issues

global issues

magazine issues

critical issues

current issues and back issues

We all have issues.

Yeah, yeah, issue me a river.

Here’s a tissue.

Disclaimer: This blog in no way reflects a lack of empathy or understanding on the part of the author toward folks with legitimate issues. It is merely an expressed opinion on the exploitation of those issues, outside of a clinical environment, which are randomly used to avoid responsibility for one’s behaviors.

So don’t sue me if this exacerbates your personal issues.

Okay, seriously, the issue here is not what you can do for your issues but what your issues can due for you.

There.

After that dizzifying demonstration of my own personal issue with words that provoke me, you may be saying to yourself  “Hmmm, okay, so uh, what exactly is Lea Kelley thankful for today?”

Mostly, all my own issues, which don’t require a tissue.

~ by leakelley on February 22, 2009.