Thank You for the Un Neven Lost and Found

 

There is a mystical Lost and Found department in the Universe. 

It’s a giant cardboard box located in a locker room somewhere between Timbuktu and Kingdom Come. There’s a sign out front that reads; 

Don’t brag, and don’t complain

One man’s loss, another man’s gain

This lost and found department is maintained by an irresponsible little bald guy with a mean streak who holds the keys to the locker room.

His name is Neven (spelled the same forward and backward and pronounced Nee•ven).

Neven took over the department after losing all the hair on his head. 

He found it on his chest years later, while rummaging through the lost and found box.

Mostly, the box contains a lot of lost time and lost money but there are some other very interesting items there. 

Neven spends a lot of his work day accepting calls from folks who have lost such things as;

sleep 

their youth

their appetite

or their way

Neven takes these calls into the locker room and looks into the box for submitted items from;

A narcoleptic

a teenager who wants to be grown up

an overeater

or a tour guide who found an abandoned road in Oregon

He then balances the lost and found according to his own whim.

When you hear someone say “I lost ten pounds!” know that those very pounds are on their way to Neven. They will be redistributed to some skinny dude who is looking to gain them—hopefully, but probably not. They will probably end up all behind you now.

Unfortunately, Neven has a strange sense of humor and irony. 

Although you may be justified and specific when reporting your loss, you might get back somebody else’s unwanted found item.

Sometimes the things we lose and the things we find are not necessarily balanced in our lives.

Life is not always fair.

But it’s interesting if you accept the unpredictable and don’t expect others to create perfect balance for you.

I will try not to complain about things I’ve lost or brag about things I’ve found.

I don’t want to trust Neven to balance out my life with the lives of others.

I am thankful for the Un-Neven lost and found.

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~ by leakelley on February 2, 2009.