Thank you for Things I Don’t Understand


If we can put a man on the moon, 

why can’t we Invent;

healthy food shaped like donuts 

a remote control stop light 

a perfume alarm for elevators and small rooms 

a toaster with an optical mechanism that recognizes brown before it turns black

a shower stall that has a blow dryer like a car wash to save on towels

a TV with a commercial blocker that pops up your bank account balance

a car that holds twelve people and runs on gossip

a public restroom within a hologram that makes it appear clean

an expanding closet

a federal prison that is actually an educational institution

an intravenous coffee delivery system

silent nail clippers

child proof candy wrappers

a vacuum cleaner that doesn’t scare the bejeezus out of a cat

plants that sing back

a cure for mean people

an ironing board shaped like a shirt

a noncompetitive sport that dominates Monday nights

a self cleaning refrigerator

a beer that provides cerebral stimulus and intellectual enhancement

a language translator for feelings

broccoli that is marketed as “Captain Crunch”

an oxygen converter that looks like a cigarette

a heating system for leather couches

keys that find the owner through pheromones

and why can’t we… 

Put a woman on the moon?


~ by leakelley on December 13, 2008.

5 Responses to “Thank you for Things I Don’t Understand”

  1. uhm, a very interesting question.

  2. Incidently, rumor has it that a team of physicists and engineers working for the North Korean government has recently developed a shirt-shaped ironing-board 🙂 However, even if true, it’s still classified technology 🙂

  3. Good chuckles here! Thank you for those!

  4. for instance, i would like an ace bandage that didn’t smell funny directly out of the package…

  5. I think you better start filling out some patent applications before I start stealing these ideas.

    (Imagine my plants singing back to my helper monkey as he watered them…*BIG SMILE*)

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