Thank You For Calling in Gay Today
I am not gay.
I am self employed.
Here’s the conversation I had with myself this morning:
Me: Good morning, Lea?
Me again: Why are you calling me on the cell phone?
Me: Because I’m calling in Gay today.
Me again: First of all Lea, you are not gay, second of all… why are you wasting cell phone minutes when I’m right here in the same room, in the same pajamas, with the same cat on my lap!
Me: But this is important!
Me again: I’ll tell you what’s important Missy, getting your butt down to that studio and getting some work done!
Me: But I’m calling in Gay!
Me again: I told you…You Are Not Gay!
Me: But what if I was?
Me again: Well if you were gay you definitely would not have been married so many times!
Me: See? That’s why I’m calling in Gay today! There are a whole lot of human beings that are being denied their civil rights and I want to support them in saying “We are not gonna take this!”
Me again: Civil rights you say?
Me: Yeah, and there’s this boycott going on against proposition 8—which denies them the right to marry the love of their life. Folks are calling in Gay and making themselves and their value in society noticed by their absence.
Me again: But like I said, Lea, You are not gay. What does this have to do with you?
Me: Well it makes me very afraid that our government is not separate from our churches and they think it’s all right to manipulate people with archaic propaganda and deny basic rights to a segment of our society. What if Jerry Fall-not-so-Well decided Redheads were the Devil like they used to believe a long, long time ago before people were educated? He could intimidate a whole bunch of folks into posting stupid signs in their yards and get a law passed that says “Stop Redheads From Their Pursuit of Happiness”
Me again: Oh, well since it’s all about you, I say let’s take the day off! But I don’t think anyone is gonna notice since you work alone.
A short, funny musical to watch while you are not at work today: