Thank You For Good Smart Friends, addendum to previous post…

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Thank You For Good Smart Friends


Some of my smartest friends are also Gay. 

And the thing about smart people is— you really notice when they are not around.

Tomorrow is a “Day Without A Gay” boycott of Prop 8.

Click here to find out how you can support this smart move.

Even if you are not gay, like I have said in previous blogs, equal rights withheld from any segment of our society does affect you.

So hey, surprise your boss, put a confused look on the faces of your coworkers, confound your roofing clients, bemuse the customers of your furniture moving business.

Be the only heterosexual at your work place to call in Gay tomorrow!

It’s a smart thing to do and I will probably want to be your friend afterwards.


~ by leakelley on December 9, 2008.

13 Responses to “Thank You For Good Smart Friends, addendum to previous post…”

  1. Hello,

    I think it is possible for intelligent, thoughtful people to both value gay people as individuals, family members and coworkers, while still opposing gay marriage and homosexual behavior.

  2. Dear conway23,
    I don’t always respond to my reader’s comments but I always read them and I am thankful for them.
    Your comment, which I am also thankful for, has caused my little brain to stretch a bit as it is trying to wrap itself around the concept of “Value” being attributed to “Opposing”.
    Now, I am not a master wordsmith (I let my smart friends do that sort of thing) but I gotta say it’s an extra effort for me to juxtapose those two words in a sentence that works for me.
    Thank you for the challenge. I will file that in my mental locker next to the image of Pro Life people picketing outside a prison for the Death Penalty.
    Tune in again when I figure out how to write a blog about the Value of political leaders who Oppose the well being of the people.
    I’m gonna work on this.
    Thanks again.

  3. Dear Conway23: You wrote, “I think it is possible for intelligent, thoughtful people to both value gay people as individuals, family members and coworkers, while still opposing gay marriage and homosexual behavior.”

    But there is a great deal of decisive evidence that gender behaviors are not shaped by what I suspect you believe is the determinant; namely, ‘Free will.’ Moreover, I suspect you do not clearly understand the U. S. Constitution, the deeper meaning of your own religion, nor the reason America is a republic ruled by its legislators, not a democracy ruled by a mob. Moreover, you may not quite grasp the tremendous suffering that sexual bigotry & referendums cause among the 20 to 30 million or more fellow citizens who are gay, lesbian or other. So … do us a favor. Carefully read the scientific research described in the 2 links provided below, & report back to us if you still think “intelligent, thoughtful people” can really disagree about their neighbors’ civil rights & need for physical companionship & love. Convince us that you are not just another homophobe or religious bigot (& please do not come back & say marriage is a religious rite – like many Americans in every state I was married in a courthouse long ago by a judge & there was no religious rite or any mention of religion whatsoever).

    READ ON:

    EXCERPT: Brock University psychologist Anthony Bogaert first reported in 1996 the startling finding that a boy’s probability of growing up gay increases by about one-third with each older brother in his family. It’s a subtle phenomenon — nearly all boys even in large families still grow up straight — but subsequent research has affirmed that the “fraternal birth order effect” is real.

    • Please continue to full text:

    #### EXCERPT: Statistically, for instance, gay men and lesbians have about a 50 percent greater chance of being left-handed or ambidextrous than straight men or women. The relative lengths of our fingers offer another hint: The index fingers of most straight men are shorter than their ring fingers, while for most women they are closer in length, or even reversed in ratio. But some researchers have noted that gay men are likely to have finger-length ratios more in line with those of straight women, and a study of self-described “butch” lesbians showed significantly masculinized ratios. The same goes for the way we hear, the way we process spatial reasoning, and even the ring of our voices. One study, involving tape-recordings of gay and straight men, found that 75 percent of gay men sounded gay to a general audience. It’s unclear what the listeners responded to, whether there is a recognized gay “accent” or vocal quality. And there is no hint as to whether this idiosyncrasy is owed to biology or cultural influences—only that it’s unmistakable. What is there in Rufus Wainwright’s “uninhibited, yearning, ugly-duckling voice,” as the Los Angeles Times wrote a few weeks ago, that we recognize as uniquely gay? Does biology account for Rosie O’Donnell’s crisp trumpet and Charles Nelson Reilly’s gnyuck-gnyuck-gnyuck?

    “These are all part and parcel of the idea that being gay is different—that we are different animals to some extent,” says Simon LeVay, the British-born neuroscientist who has dedicated himself to studying these issues. “Hirschfeld was right. I support the idea that we’re a third sex—or a third sex and a fourth sex, gay men and lesbians. Today, there’s scientific documentation behind this.”

    • Please continue to full text:


  4. I am gay, incidentally 🙂

    Wow, meta-thanks for bringing this to my attention, Lea Kelley 😀 I’m gonna tell my spouse as soon as he gets home from work 😀

    Your awesomeness rules, Lea Kelley (((((HUGS)))))

  5. As a bone fide homo-loving person, I must deconstruct this frightening sentence:

    “I think it is possible for intelligent, thoughtful people to both value gay people as individuals, family members and coworkers, while still opposing gay marriage and homosexual behavior.”

    As Ms. Kelley mentioned above, it seems (almost) laughable to say one “values” my life as a human being while simultaneously “opposing” my family (A.K.A. the most important people in my life). OK, not laughable; more like highly offensive. And once those “beliefs” infected our system of law, then it becomes an ACT OF VIOLENCE against my family. So yes, we will fight this attack.

    P.S. – the term “homosexual behavior” reveals a lot about the writer’s discomforts; can’t we see the 2 souls behind the genitalia? I have the ability to fall in love with the same gender; marriage is a union of 2 souls. A God-given, sacred love, if you believe in the God-thing.

    Unfortunately, until we have a TRUE separation of church and state, I will insist that everyone else pay my federal taxes, and the I.R.S. can seriously go F-itself, sans Astroglide.


  6. Wow,

    I checked back in and there were a lot of comments to be my blog comment. Discussion is always fruitful. Lea, I appreciate your comments. I’ll try to expound a bit:

    If, as a society, we can longer grasp the idea of loving someone, while at the same time objecting to their actions, we have lost a great virtue. I’m sure there are people in your life, siblings or friends, who you “value” or love, but disapprove of some of their actions or behavior. And by love, I don’t mean some mushy sentiment, but a decision of the will: I will want what’s best for you.

    Lea, You also mentioned political leaders. Their job is to preserve a social environment for the common good; the family is the basic building block of society, and every society/civilizations since time immemorial, has understood the family as the sexual union of a man a women orientated toward the procreation and then care of children. Historically speaking, gay marriage is not only radical, but unprecedented. So I believe that politicians that affirm marriage as a man and a women, are not “banning” anything, but simply adhering to the natural law and promoting the common good, which is their job.

    (here I’ll connect to what John was saying)

    John, let me clarify what I mean by homosexual behavior. We know that approximately 2-3% of the population experiences same-sex attraction. Whether one choices to act on those feelings or not is a choice, and thus if chosen enough is a behavior. And we know that homosexual sex poses a real health risk to people. A study of gay men in Canada found that gay men live on average 20 years less than heterosexual men. We also know that those who have the highest risk of HIV/AIDS in N. America are drug users and gay men. Lesbians experience dramatic increases in depression, suicide, spousal abuse, alcoholism and require much more therapy than their heterosexual peers. So there are real risks to this behavior.

    In light of these medical realities, as well as the spiritual and moral damage that comes with choosing to live the homosexual lifestyle – to truly value people, one must speak (with charity) against homosexual acts (but not homosexual people) because this is hot a “happy” or “gay” life in the long run.

    I don’t expect any of your blog readers to agree with me, but I do appreciate the forum and your time!

    Thank you Lea!

  7. conway23,

    First, I acknowledge your conviction and courage in the face of obvious adversity to your perspective.
    I do believe you represent a portion of our population in those beliefs, no matter my opinion or the disagreement of many people, studies, and observations I respect.
    I would like to address some of your definitions (though I attach no responsibility to you for their promulgation, merely for your unquestioning adherence to them)

    “Love as Will” with disapproval of “actions or behavior”.
    This seeps into my chest like sugar coated syrup sandwiched between two slices of condescension.
    The gay community is not a puppy we need to admonish for peeing on our ancient Mesopotamian carpet while we pat them on the head with our “Love”. They are human beings just like us, as tall as us, as beautiful in your God’s eyes as us, and in no need of our “Will” for what is best for them as separate from ourselves. Our will would be better served in educating ourselves on the many chromosome variations that comprise a human being and treating all human beings as such.

    In regard to your definition of “family”
    You speak of the care of children. The mental illness of my own biological mother and the abandonment of my procreating, biological father inspired me to discover that family is not “the family as the sexual union of a man a women orientated toward the procreation and then care of children”.
    If “the family is the basic building block of society” —and many have come from the same block I did, what are we building here?
    As a social worker, I facilitated the foster placement of children into families who had the capacity to genuinely love and nurture children—one of those families was a “two mother” household with more love, education, integrity, and spiritual awareness than many families I met who were limited to the missionary position of creating family from their “union” to abuse, neglect, and instill with dysfunctional limitations through their own definitions of “Family”.

    I am not even going to address the agendas of the politicians of which you speak.
    And your fear mongering generalizations taken out of context regarding the “Homosexual Lifestyle” tells me there is at least one comment above that you may not have read yet.
    This is as far as I go on your merry-go-round until you tell me why you kicked your gay son out of the house.

  8. TO: Conway23 –

    Masks of civility magnify rather than conceal the ugliness below; only bigotry is visible in a health lesson which ignores all that is known about the spread of sexually transmitted diseases across time & in different societies; & history lessons about the ‘radicality’ of gay marriage that are completely falsifiable by conducting a five second Google search suggest ignorance & laziness.

    Here, then, is another scientific study you may wish to pretend you did not peek at:

    PREFACE: The results of this study indicate that individuals who score in the homophobic range and admit negative affect toward homosexuality demonstrate significant sexual arousal to male homosexual erotic stimuli. These individuals were selected on the basis of their report of having only heterosexual arousal and experiences. Furthermore, their ratings of erection and arousal to homosexual stimuli were low and not significantly different from nonhomophobic men who demonstrated no significant increase in penile response to homosexual stimuli. These data are consistent with response discordance where verbal judgments are not consistent with physiological reactivity, as in the case of homophobic individuals viewing homosexual stimuli. Lang (1994) has noted that the most dramatic response discordance occurs with reports of feeling and physiologic responses.

    Please continue to full text:

    Click to access homophobia_and_homosexual_arousal.pdf

    PS: Ms. Kelley – It’s now time to activate a block. Hopefully the responses to the troll helped some of your casual visitors to learn more & reflect upon what all this means to them personally, but the pissing match to come if the troll is allowed to persist will add nothing.

  9. conway23 says:

    “We know that approximately 2-3% of the population experiences same-sex attraction. Whether one choices to act on those feelings or not is a choice, and thus if chosen enough is a behavior.”

    By that math, 97 to 98% of the population experiences opposite-sex attraction. They are free, and encouraged, to form behaviors that support this attraction, though the results are at least as disastorous as those resulting from homosexual sex. Society picks up the pieces of neglected children, children living in poverty, turning to crime, etc., etc. I don’t hear anyone calling loudly for straight people to look at the consequences of their sexual preferences except for the occasional condom give away.

    But it all boils down to power over one’s own body. Should anyone have a say over your body? I don’t think so.

  10. I agree, Anhinga, but keep in mind that Conway23’s statistical assertions are complete horsepucky. Google The Kinsey Institute if you wish to know true facts. If memory serves, the first great Kinsey study revealed that about 50% of the many thousands of male subjects interviewed stated that they had engaged sex with another male to the point of orgasm at least once in their lives. Freud was wrong much of the time, but his conclusion that humans are “polymorphously perverse [i.e., sexual],” was absolutely correct. If interested, google sexual variety in Wikipedia. Also, Wikipedia the word berdache or phrase Two Spirit for one of many, many proofs that Conway23 knows very little about human nature, & what is worse appears unwilling to spend time reading rather than spewing.

    ••• I must add something more. The guy says sex of any sort his church does not approve is ‘against natural law.’ He is referring, of course, to the view expressed in the 13th century by the cleric who is to this day the Catholic church’s official philosopher, Thomas Aquinas. When Aquinas used the Latin word for ‘nature,’ he was referring to the Catholic god, not to nature as a scientist understands it. Thus, in the works of Aquinas, Natural Law is God’s Law. Aquinas also said, rather unfortunately: God cannot make a man into an ass.

  11. Here’s the NEAT part:


    * I will NEVER pay a dime again, unless I am equal.

    THANK YOU MIS-GUIDED, MIS-INFORMED Americans; you’ve justified an entire movement’s tax protest.

  12. While discussing the exchanges above with a friend, I learned a story about her nephew, Ryan. He died at age 18 after leading a youth tortured by ignorant classmates, cruel religious dogmatists who feed the fire of such ignorance, & governmental ostracism that exists because politicians fear the ever revengeful dogmatists. I ran a google search & discovered several memorials. His young friend, JJ, made the following musical & photographic memorial for Ryan – & 3 years later JJ also died • VIDEO

    ••• A brief memorial to JJ:

    And no, they did not die from AIDS, which inspires bigots to make ridiculous, hateful, self-righteous & pompous ‘see there’ pronouncements; rather, they died from severe stress related disorders, the one in a car crash while severely emotionally wounded & fearful, & the other of heart failure.


  13. More nauseating hypocrisy:

    VIDEO & All Text Source: ThinkProgress

    Warren insists he’s not homophobic: I served ‘water and donuts’ to gay people.
    Pastor Rick Warren, President-elect Obama’s choice to deliver the inaugurual invocation, has espoused far-right views on gay rights, including likening same-sex marriage to polygamy and incest. Today, MSNBC previewed a segment from Dateline NBC’s interview with Warren, airing tomorrow, in which he laughs off accusations of being “homophobic” because he “talks to” gay people and served protesters water:

    Q: Your position has raised the specter that you are homophobic.

    WARREN: Hahahah! […]

    Q: Are you homophobic?

    WARREN: Of course not. I have always treated them with respect. When they come and wanna talk to me, I talk to ‘em. When the protesters came, we served them water and donuts.

    Watch video:

    Warren also stuck up for his belief that gays should not be allowed to marry, saying, “For 5,000 years, every single culture and every single religion has defined marriage as a man and a woman [which is, of course, a totally false statement that a six year old can learn about by googling – the history of marriage]”


    Dr. Hussein Matt Says:
    “For 5,000 years, every single culture and every single religion has defined marriage as a man and a woman.”

    Yes, and during that same time interracial marriages were not allowed, minorities and women were considered as second class citizens, and Jews were blamed for the World’s problems.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    republicans hate facts Says:
    Actually MARRIAGE is typically POLYGAMOUS in MOST CULTURES. Islam STILL supports Polygamy and it’s practiced by ONE BILLION PEOPLE! Even the MORMONS that FOUGHT TO DENY GAY PEOPLE RIGHTS still practice POLYGAMY in Utah when no one is looking! Even the BIBLE has Abraham having a baby with a “second” wife!

    And until about 100 years ago marriage was a PROPERTY EXCHANGE! Marriage has NOT EXISTED the way this OLD TARD LIES AND CLAIMS!

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    hussein toasterhead Says:
    “For 5,000 years, every single culture and every single religion has defined marriage as a man and a woman.”

    So do cultures and religions that practice/d polygamy and polyandry no longer count as cultures or religions?

    Why does Rick Warren hate Africa?

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Leftside Annie Says:
    Wow. “Water and donuts”…??

    *What* a guy. I am soooooooooooooo impressed.


    Yo, stupid! YOU’RE STILL A BIGOT!!!!!

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Stupid Git Says:
    For 5000 year it’s been between a man and women.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    alphainfinityomega Says:
    …..while you drink soda’s and eat too many donuts, Fatso.

    ¶ AIO

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    fletc3her Says:
    I’m sure a lot of bigots are polite to those they hate when they meet them face to face. Denying someone the right to marry is far worse than some more overt hate crimes.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Marie Says:
    Warren’s social views are not very jesus-like.
    He is a bigot masquerading as a christian.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    Zimzone Says:
    “For 5,000 years, every single culture and every single religion has defined marriage as a man and a woman.”

    Lies. Mormons would have 5,000 wives for 5,000 years if they could get away with it.

    Mittens, where do you stand on this?

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    Leftside Annie Says:
    Yeah, and I’ll bet that “some of your best friends are black,” too.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    AmieOK Says:
    Homophobia isn’t about giving water and doughnuts to gay people. It’s about not respecting the reality that two gay people can be in love with each other, can form a family, and can be happy and contributing members of our society, and doing so to such an extent as to actually prevent gay people from having the things that they have been taught to cherish: a family, honest work, children, and even more.

    What is disgustingly obvious is that he thinks he isn’t homophobic just because he can be near gay people and hand them food. That might be a good test to see if someone is afraid of a dog, but on a human level that is ridiculously poor at best.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Marie Says:
    republicans hate facts,
    You are indeed correct. Marriage, as we know it today, was based upon property rights – who owns whom, and who owns what! Anyone who has ever studied anthropology or sociology would find that to be true.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    owlbear1 Says:
    For 5,000 years, every single culture and every single religion has defined marriage as a man and a woman.

    “See how the Bible just lets ya make shit up and declare it as gospel?”, the Rickster added

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    hussein toasterhead Says:
    Now that we’re opening up the inaugural events to hatemongers of all sorts, I do hope Prussian Blue will be playing one of the balls.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    jb Says:
    According to people like Rick Warren, women and gays need to be told how to live their lives by people like Rick Warren.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    Razor_Boy Says:
    Warren is a bum, and I still don’t understand Obama’s decision which only serves to validate Warren.


    December 18th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    GL2814 Says:
    It’s so nice that he’s served gays water and donuts! It’s a sure-fire way to lure them into the gas chamber, right Herr Warren? Hyproctitical, nazi m-f’er.

    I’m shocked that Obama would even consider this a**hole.

    December 18th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    © 2005-2008 Center for American Progress Action Fund

    And many more comments at the website ….

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