Thank You for Stopping the Cycle of Domestic Abuse against America


If America was really a woman, wouldn’t she seek refuge in a shelter by now? 

Would she not take her life back from her Abuser? 

Or are we so enmeshed in the cycle of Domestic Abuse that we have lost hope and are afraid to instigate change?

Perhaps we don’t recognize the abuse because we have been battered for so long.

Below are some clues about the cycle of domestic abuse:

 Abuse — The abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behavior (may even launch into a war or initiate an international conflict with weaker countries who have something the abuser wants) The abuse is a power play designed to show “who is boss.”

Guilt — After the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilt, but not over what he’s done to the victim. The guilt is over the possibility of being caught and facing consequences. Generally this phase ushers in a propaganda phase  (See number 3) with the media becoming codependent to the abuser in as much as they cover up the abuser’s deeds or create elaborate explanations in the form of propaganda to justify the abusive behavior, making the  victim feel it is their fault for not voting.

 Rationalization or excuses — The abuser rationalizes what he’s done. He may come up with a string of excuses or blame the victim for his own abusive behavior or tell the victim the abuse is for their own protection against evil—anything to shift responsibility from himself.

 “Normal” behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the dysfunctional relationship that feeds his power and allows him to give the victims’ money in the form of taxes to the abuser’s contractor friends and cronies.

 He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time as the victim listens to the abuser’s shiny speeches and watches him visit children in school or contribute a pittance of aid to needy allies while he ignores the victim’s needs for healthcare and education.

 Fantasy and planning — The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what she’s done wrong and how he’ll make her pay more taxes. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality by starting another war in another country. 

 Set-up — The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her by inducing all his advisors to agree with everything he says and coercing the media to lie for him about his abusive agenda. 


~ by leakelley on August 22, 2008.

5 Responses to “Thank You for Stopping the Cycle of Domestic Abuse against America”

  1. Great post! I love how you have woven this into a humorous and yet all too close to home take on our country! 🙂
    The Duluth wheel above is all to familiar to me. I regularly do work with a domestic violence intervention program that uses that concept as the underpinnings of it’s program!
    Glad to have met you… thanks for popping into my blog!!


  2. Wendy,
    I, too, have worked in Crisis intervention. I only wish we could use our skills in the above situation.
    Maybe Obama can help.

  3. A+ political analysis & commentary in every way, deserving publication in the major press. I urge you to submit it to, say, The New York Times (which would give it the largest possible audience).

  4. Robini,
    But the New York times is a relative of the abuser and the whole damn family is in denial!

  5. Sooner or later (too often later), everything appears in The NYT, rather as it does in the Gorgon’s three serpents, Medusa, Stheno and Euryale.

    So you have nothing to worry about if you post there. You’ll be in familiar company 🙂

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