Thank you for Good Reasons NOT to be Naked

Poison Ivy


Hale storms


Leather couches


Broken glass


Contact sports


Hot coffee from a drive through


Sudden weather changes will not embarrass you


Less swearing involved in scuffing your shoe than stubbing your toe


God can’t recognize you in a crowd to punish you


You can’t be led around by your belly button


Strangers make better eye contact


Wild animals in heat don’t chase you


Your mom can’t tell you’ve been laying in a net hammock all day instead of mowing the lawn


Mosquitos can’t find that spot between your shoulder blades that you can never reach


You don’t have to shave your legs

(unless you’re wearing panty hose—those spiky little hairs poking through nylons is just crazy ugly!)


If you’re a male, nobody can tell when you have to pee, and ask you to be a conductor of the band while you run toward the bathroom.


If you are large breasted, you can exercise without hurting yourself or someone else, incurring lawsuits


No one can see your birthmark and tell you that it is the mark of the devil while they lead you to a stake surrounded by charcoal.


The sun is more friendly


Catholics are more friendly 


The police are more friendly


Hey, keep your clothes on!







~ by leakelley on January 26, 2008.

One Response to “Thank you for Good Reasons NOT to be Naked”

  1. HAHAHA i like that list

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