Thank you for Good Reasons NOT to be Naked


Poison Ivy

 

Hale storms

 

Leather couches

 

Broken glass

 

Contact sports

 

Hot coffee from a drive through

 

Sudden weather changes will not embarrass you

 

Less swearing involved in scuffing your shoe than stubbing your toe

 

God can’t recognize you in a crowd to punish you

 

You can’t be led around by your belly button

 

Strangers make better eye contact

 

Wild animals in heat don’t chase you

 

Your mom can’t tell you’ve been laying in a net hammock all day instead of mowing the lawn

 

Mosquitos can’t find that spot between your shoulder blades that you can never reach

 

You don’t have to shave your legs

(unless you’re wearing panty hose—those spiky little hairs poking through nylons is just crazy ugly!)

 

If you’re a male, nobody can tell when you have to pee, and ask you to be a conductor of the band while you run toward the bathroom.

 

If you are large breasted, you can exercise without hurting yourself or someone else, incurring lawsuits

 

No one can see your birthmark and tell you that it is the mark of the devil while they lead you to a stake surrounded by charcoal.

 

The sun is more friendly

 

Catholics are more friendly 

 

The police are more friendly

 

Hey, keep your clothes on!

 

 

 

 

 

~ by leakelley on January 26, 2008.

One Response to “Thank you for Good Reasons NOT to be Naked”

  1. HAHAHA i like that list

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