Thank you for Deployment of the Employment Mission (enlistment in the work force)

I am lining up my skills and packing up my gear to get back on the grid and join forces with the rest of my peers who are swimming around the labor pool like algae in a stagnant pond. 

It is a dangerous mission but I think I can do it. 

 

I am well briefed for this mission and prepared;

 

I will not make waves in the labor pool. 

(Algae is stealthy and does not move fast enough to make a wave, especially with camouflage scuba gear which allows one to appear “normal” in an office setting.)

 

I will not drown in the labor pool. 

I am taking emotional oxygen with me. I will hide the tank in my car and take inconspicuous breaks at two hour intervals to replenish my body from needy coworkers.

 

I will not float aimlessly around in the labor pool like a piece of debris.

I am taking a perspective compass which will keep me from getting lost in gossip and inane chit chat torture procedures.

 

I will not be intellectually polluted by the labor pool.

I am wearing aluminum foil on my head and I have established a code word to keep me on track should my cover letter be blown and my resume erased. The code word is… I can’t tell you. It would be a breech of my security.

 

I will not not let leeches bite me in the labor pool.

I got me some “leech off” repellent at the codependent pharmaceutical company. It provides a 24 hour invisible screen which cannot be penetrated by the corporate loyalty people who suck.

 

I will not die in the labor pool.

I have a host of escape strategies if I lose sight of the goal (which is to take the money and run).

 

Okay…

Check list:

camouflage scuba gear

emotional compass

aluminum foil

leech repellent

a map back to the homeland of free time.

 

I’m goin’ in!

 

If you don’t hear from me, call the UN (Unemployment Negotiators) to free me. I may be taken hostage until I turn sixty four.

~ by leakelley on January 2, 2008.

One Response to “Thank you for Deployment of the Employment Mission (enlistment in the work force)”

  1. Addendum:
    For those of you who may ask ” How the hell is this woman gonna get a job with aluminum foil on her head?” Remember; camouflage scuba gear!

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