Thank you for all the C’s of Class


In the classroom of life, there are many classes of people. 

Not all of them have class and not all of them attend class consistently.


One of these classes of people only responds to classified information and they hold a separate clandestine class outside the classroom of Life (usually in a basement or attic somewhere in South Dakota).

They are the “Conspiracy” class.


The Conspiracy class of people perceive themselves as superior to the other classes for their abilities to untangle webs of alleged lies.

They see themselves as persecuted by the “Controlling” class as they promulgate a secret knowledge that the other classes are not privy to. 


The Conspiracy Class blames the Controlling class for every woe, viral epidemic, political blunder, manipulation of truth, and all things unspoken that dominate the other classes and steal their living essence like they were Pod People in the movie Princess Bride.


The Controlling Class is not oblivious to the Conspiracy class, but they don’t have time to listen. They are always late for class because they were home counting their money, playing chess with soldiers for pawns, and exploring how they could make Corporatism a religion with themselves as ordained priests. Their kids (who don’t even show up for class) become entrepreneurs of bizarre clothing lines and carry poodles in their purses. Dogs are not allowed in class.


The Controlling class only shows up in the classroom when there is a possibility of influencing  people from the “Consumer” Class.


The Consumer class people are never late to class. They are steadfast and aspire to be educated in the classroom of Life along with other members of their loyal class. They are thrilled when a member of the Controlling class makes an appearance to class and exudes celebrity status.

The Consumer class is very impressed with status that looks like class. 

They actually believe they can buy it. They adhere to materialism as if it defines their existence.

 They get very annoyed when a member of the “Conserving” class acts out in the Classroom of Life.


The Conserving class only attends classes that incorporate recycling of thought and the doctrines of self sacrifice for the good of all. They are quite educated in science and weather. They can tell us a lot about trees and extinct animals. The Conserving class is a class of folks who are basically mellow and rarely harm other living things or members of the other classes. 

But they can be provoked to act out against timber companies and oil moguls when owls or whales are involved. 

When they act out, all other classes are sent home from the classroom of Life so they don’t get sabotaged into learning something. 


This canceling of classes appeals to the “Complacent” class because they like to avoid anything that might force them to learn something or think about the other classes. 

In the classroom of life, the Complacent class is absent a lot. They have a hard time getting off their couches. When they do attempt to go to class, they end up skipping class to drink beer with their friends in the parking lot.



There are many more classes in the classroom of Life and I think it would be a very classy gesture to get them all together at a pep rally assembly in the gymnasium and encourage them to become one big  “Combined” class.




~ by leakelley on December 16, 2007.

2 Responses to “Thank you for all the C’s of Class”

  1. You wrote about class and class, and I wrote about presents and presence. I’m glad we keep meeting like this. We always have, so we must be doing the right thing.

    Of course, I’m wondering what you did yesterday, who you saw, what were your conversations, and how cold it might be in your neck of the woods. Maybe I’ll give you a call. Perhaps we can skip class and drink coffee together on the phone. A little different, we are, than the complacent class. For us, skipping class to have a chat is one of the most edifying parts of our days, and we are constantly learning and thinking about others. What’s our class?

  2. You already said it.
    We are the “Chatting” class!

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