Thank you for Youth Inducing Miracles!
It happened this morning at approximately 5:45 am.
I am so excited about this, I can hardly write.
I shuffled to my bathroom, as I do on any normal morning, followed by my cat, Isabel, who typically frolics behind me down the hall, filled with the joy of waking me up. She is a witness.
I went to the mirrored medicine cabinet with the two bulb light fixture above it.
I turned on the water and glanced into the mirror as I pumped liquid soap onto my hands.
In the mirror was a middle aged woman whom I see every day.
Her eyes were barely open. Her face had a road map of laugh lines and wrinkles under the glare of the light.
Then it happened!
One of the light bulbs burned out.
I looked up at the light fixture, mumbled a mild expletive, and returned my gaze to the mirror where my whole life changed in the split second that it took electricity to melt a worn out tungsten filament.
Suddenly the face in the mirror changed into a soft, smooth, just-a-little-bit-sleepy, face of a woman fifteen years younger with no wrinkles and a stunned look in her wide open eyes.
I have discovered the secret to youth!
Scientifically, it lies in the lower photon emanations created by slower vibrating electrons which transmit less of the electromagnetic spectrum onto one’s face due to the dividing of light waves. I made that up, but I am going to use it in my new infomercial when I figure out how to market this miracle youth and get a million folks to send me $19.99 on their visa cards for a burned out light bulb.
I can’t wait until it gets light enough outside so I can run into the streets and show people! Just wait until my friends see my new face!
I’m off to throw away all my cosmetics and wrinkle creams! From now on I will carry my burned out light bulb in my purse so I can have it handy in case I want to look younger when I am away from home.