Thank you for internal affairs and inside jobs

Sometimes my perspective toward my world is influenced by emotions that seem to just crop up out of nowhere. They dance around my psyche like irrational little leprechauns. I give these leprechauns titles like PMS or Fatigue or Angst or Temporary low blood sugar or Ennui.
I say to myself, “ You just need to eat something” or “ You’ll feel better after you get some rest” or “It’s just hormones” or “Maybe you’re catching a cold” or “Tomorrow’s another day”.
I can negate these feelings to accommodate the glorious ideal of rationality and logical behavior.
Well ya know what? “rational” ain’t all that special. And logical dissects and obliterates the random factors that just can’t be explained. Rational mows down my leprechauns and relegates them to the realm of untruth and fairy tales. When I refuse to acknowledge the “negative” feelings that “crop up”, I pretty much slam the door in the face of my immense joy and and my predominant sense of well being. This process is an “inside job” and doesn’t seem to respond to the well-intentioned intervention of those around me. Some folks get uncomfortable when a person they care about does not appear as “happy” as they would like to see them. They try to divert the little leprechauns into activities that would distract them into non existence… “Let’s go shopping” or “Maybe you should get out of the house today” . Run! Run from the leprechauns!
Well I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’m just dancin’ with leprechauns for a day or so. When they get tuckered out, and I have finished with my internal affairs, I’ll get back to the rational world and take care of business.
Excuse me, I hear a self indulgent Irish ballad calling me. Gotta go dance now.

The Irish Rovers – The Unicorn Song


~ by leakelley on October 13, 2007.

One Response to “Thank you for internal affairs and inside jobs”

  1. It’s amazing how uncomfortable others can be when we aren’t feeling so great. I know they’re just trying to help by asking us to join them in “outside” activities, but sometimes we just have to feel low, and move through to the next step on our own. You go on with your bad self and dancing your jig with the Leprechauns. When they get tired, they make no excuses, they just run back to the forest and sleep.

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